Most of my party invites are written now, I’m trying to focus everything I can on planning this event ‘cos it’s actually something in the future to focus on and atm the future is something I’m struggling to see.

My moods seem to be bouncing higher and lower by the day and poor Helen is having to put up with my crap. It’s exhausting and I want out.

Things are further put into perspective by the news that nearly all of my friends from School/College can’t come to the party as they’re going away together to Centre Parcs that weekend. An invite or a at least an honest “you’re boring we don’t want to see you” would’ve been nice, rather than feigned guilt. On the other hand, Helen’s work colleagues who only know me from my hanging around the shop are all excited an enthusiastic to come. They really are lovely people and it makes me feel even guiltier for moaning and being miserable all the time.

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